Sinnie’s Fresh Start

[Sinnie]

I think it’s needed. A new page to start fresh, feel mentally renewed without all of the old stuff weighing me down. I think I need to force myself to post, as a community might help push me along. No strict plan yet, just thinking what might actually work. I think 3 meals, 7 days a week, any foods, as much as I need to be full - and that’s it, only drinks the rest of the time. Can’t make it any simpler, attacks my main issues and I can narrow it down if I ever progress to that.

Let’s start with this morning. I had a dentist appt so had to eat after around 10:30am. Mouth still frozen which made it difficult.
Coffee w/ cream early morning
B: egg w cheese + few bites Apple coffee cake + few bites bagel and cream cheese
L: fruit, baked beans, bagel cc, seaweed, sweet potato fries, coke.
D: went to a Mexican restaurant which was fun bc there aren’t may around here so never go. Guac, chips, some version of tacos not sure what it’s called but am soooo full! Mexican Coke too

[Soprano]

Good luck with your fresh start

Jx

[Sinnie]

Thank you Soprano!

I am not giving up despite my bad habits at night. Positive side - I just have really ingrained habits that feel impossible to overcome at the moment, but if I keep focusing hard on changing I think it can get better. I did great all day so I am happy about that!

Today's eats:
coffee with cream
B: not hungry but had a bagel with cc & jam (only half) - feeling a little jittery - not the best choice
Leftover coffee turned into vanilla iced coffee
L: also not very hungry, had some eggplant parmigiana, strawberries sprinkled w sugar, a bearpaw cookie
Some sips of a Caesar before dinner
D: sausage, perogies, cucumber/tomato/green apple salad, coke and some lemon meringue pie

Wow, it actually felt like an easy day. So weird how that can happen. I’ve learned that tomorrow can be brutal so never to expect easy street. But this was so needed for my psyche.

[Sinnie]

Coffee w cream

Breakfast: another coffee, few bites banana, Potica roll
Lunch: ate early, leftover fried cabbage, eggplant parmigiana and an orange. Juice too

[Amy3010]

Well done with your fresh start! As long as you keep going, you cannot fail...

[Sinnie]

Ugh, yesterday I gave into some rice crispy squares my daughter was making after school. Then I just kind of didn’t get back on track….

So of course this morning, I think well that doesn’t work. I should just count calories. The problem is nothing works when I don’t feel like making it work.

I’ve been up since 2:48 AM. One of my dogs will often wake me these days, and even if he goes right back to sleep after, once I’m up, I’m up. Can’t go back to sleep. And it’s one of the rare days where I took a full day supply job so I’m just not in a good way today. Feeling lots of anxiety too.

I’ll group what I’ve eaten into meals to try and salvage the day:
B: cheese string, pb, iced coffee
L: coke, pretzels and hummus, walnut cinnamon roll

[Amy3010]

Oh, Sinnie, I feel for you - not getting the sleep you need just adds an additional layer to the stress. Hang in there as best you can, hopefully you can get better sleep tonight.

[Ellis]

Hi Sinnie, wishing you all the best with this fresh start. I understand your doubt, I struggle with that as well. Always hopping onto the next diet. And sleep is so important, I hope you can get some good night rest and just keep going! You got this!

[Sinnie]

Thank you so so much!

Struggling, yes.

But I'll try to plan today's meals in case it helps. I would like to try loosely counting calories to let my brain realize I am not under-eating. I aim for 2000 calories. Weight is around 124lbs. I honestly don't care about it anymore, those vanity pounds are so elusive.

Early morning: coffee w/ cream & sugar, OJ for pills, more coffee (160)

Breakfast: potica and dried fruit (300)

Lunch: carrot salad, chicken patties, greek yogurt, smoothie (700)

Dinner: sausage, rice, frozen veg, few candies (610)

If needed, hot chocolate tonight and bear paw cookie (230)

Ha, exactly 2000. Just an estimate anyways. Lets see how this goes

[WINhappy]

Hi Sinnie, You've taken a great first step with your fresh start and your initial guidelines seem like they will help you get on a path. Just keep plugging away and you'll get into a workable groove. All the best, WINhappy

[Sinnie]

Thank you Win

I think it’s important that I really try to document, even if it’s hard. I think a big part of it is trying to realize the excuses I make. I always think there is this or that reason why something can’t work, but it’s mostly in my head, and I can prove that to myself by just keep track here. For example, three meals is too difficult because: there might be an event I “need” to have a snack for, I might want to join my kids in a treat, I won’t have time for a proper lunch so I should just snack instead, I would rather eat when I’m hungry etc.

I was also cleaning out my email as it was at the storage limit. I came across pictures during the years that I was deeply involved in No S and I can’t believe how much different my body looked and the difference was less than 10 lbs. It surprised me.

B: 2 slices toast w/ hazelnut butter and jam

[Amy3010]

Our minds are always so good at coming up with excuses why we can't just stick to our plan...hang in there!