Everyday Systems

finallyfull

:oops:

Okay, this took years, but you might as well benefit:

No Seconds was the "S" that was the hardest, okay, impossiblest, for me. I've been pretty much No S for several years now and it has been a fantastic way to clear my mind of food clutter by focusing decisions down to three per day ...

finallyfull

:oops: :oops: Okay, it's been a couple years I think, and I need a refresher! Actually all has gone well, I am a committed three meal a day person, and it keeps me slim, but my "sometimes" has clearly grown to be "lots of times." I know this because my biggest pants are now snug.

Here's what I ...

finallyfull

Okay, two month hiatus where one day turned into another, and another, and another. Now at least one pair of pants won't button.

Good lesson.

Back to vanilla, but still with the intention of no snacking on the weekend, no bites while cooking unless truly required, no bites of someone else's ...

finallyfull

I read once that slimness is highly correlated with the ability to throw food away.

finallyfull

I have noticed that I am much more likely to leave food on my plate at times, which is different for me. I always left a clean plate!

Same weight, but good new habit, and what I think is a changing of my wiring from whatever keeps me feeling pressured to eat "enough" to, instead, feeling relaxed ...

finallyfull

Congrats! Awesome post. Another of your accomplishments: helping others stay with No S.

Thanks for inspiring!

finallyfull

I just realized it's been months and months since I've been "too full." The year or two prior I had several incidents, unusual for me, where I went over the line somehow and had stomach pain! I am glad I seem to have ratcheted back or perhaps can eyeball more correctly. I just naturally adjusted, I ...

finallyfull

I think you ARE on No S, with mods, because plenty of us take No S and figure out how to make it work for us.

I think the beauty of your description is not focusing on what you're NOT having, (I won't snack I won't snack I won't snack) -- which I think the diet mindset causes, but on what you CAN ...

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Thank you for your experience and sharing your wisdom. I think the "being willing" sounds like the key (along with feeling bad about too many Ses on S day). I am more than willing -- my only hesitation is not to tempt the boomerang, but over a month in there is no boomerang in sight, mostly, just ...

finallyfull

oolala I have a question for you, which relates to my (mostly) going to 7 days of No S (I'm trying to really make Sometimes mean Sometimes, not every S):

I know you slowly stopped having wild S days, as you reported during your journey. My question is, IS there really a time when anyone just ...

finallyfull

Immediate failure on road to camping, plus several mindless snacking episodes. Oh well. I think being away from my schedule makes me imagine I'm hungrier. I'm not sure when I'm eating, etc. No excuse but I'm going for it. I did avoid seconds and sweets, though, and I think it was a reasonably ...

finallyfull

I think vegetables aren't the "snack of choice" because most of us have to be hungry in order to want vegetables.

Now that I am usually hungry at mealtime, I definitely "like" my freggies much more.

finallyfull

Definitely happens to me -- I've been on and fallen "off" for years but always get back on. I try to focus less on "failing" than on trying different things the next time.

The key for me is either finding out why I want to eat between meals (am I bored? Avoiding unpleasant chores? Need a good cry ...

finallyfull

Heading for three days of camping -- I see absolutely no reason not to enjoy three regular meals each day.

I hate smores. If somebody made a special sweet I might have some, but might not.

Looking forward to fun and normalcy because I will have NO Ses!!

finallyfull

I have done this for a month and I really like it. I will caution you that if it doesn't "work" it may just be that you're not ready. I think I truly needed 18 months of vanilla weekends to actually crave structure on the weekends consistently. I needed to "sow my wild oats" first. If I hadn't, I ...

finallyfull

The longer I No S the more AMAZED I am at how completely brainwashed the entire country seems to be against three squares a day.

This was a foundational cultural norm, and it's been blown to bits in a very short time. I have yet to find anyone except people on this message board that hasn't drunk ...

finallyfull

Freezing works for me -- and it's really nice to have dessert in there for the family, if you have one.

For me, it's not tempting because you have to wait for it to thaw, and if I'm having a temptation I want it NOW.

finallyfull

three meals on the weekends seems to be making the week easier. No just means no.

Fewer battles with self, because instead of "deciding" whether to have an S, I just "change the channel" in my mind, because the choice is pre-made.

This frees me up to my current focus: mindfulness before, during ...

finallyfull

I think experimenting (occasionally!) after really giving vanilla a good long try is a great idea. There is so much experimenting on these boards. I have tried various mods, and some were good for short periods of time. Sometimes you "train" yourself and need different things at different times ...

finallyfull

Good for you! Be the change you wish to see in the world!

There's nothing more draining than spending half your waking hours (and half your living years) in a daily, anxiety producing grind of a job.

You are free! Now you can model having a good attitude and faith in the process, however long it ...

finallyfull

Fourth weekend of success on my mod!! (the mod being No Snacks or Seconds, hardly ever, unless it's Special, and sweets only rarely, if they are special). Zero problems, and here's what I gained: peace. More peace. I had the occasional twinge of desire, but no more than an N day, but reminded myself ...

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@automated -- I have thought of it many times, but wanted to be absolutely sure I gave vanilla a good looooooong try, so that I would know fully what vanilla would be, and learn all it's lessons. I THINK I have but I'll see. For me vanilla means maintenance and unpleasantly unstructured weekends ...

finallyfull

Fourth weekend since streamlining S days. Saturday morning.

Sane Saturday morning!

So far have lost the "get started early cause it's Friday" urge, and also feel just normal, instead of that "hey, the gates are open, go eat whatever you want" feeling that I had gained on vanilla.

I needed a year ...

finallyfull

Awesome sane weekend!! No mindless snacking, no overfullness, just good regular meals. Feels great.

I have noticed a few things: one, that I don't think as much as I used to about having "enough" at a meal, because I have months and months of noticing that unless I hit a "boredom patch" or am ...

finallyfull

3rd weekend on the No S streamlined plan. It's saturday between breakfast and I'm peckish. But no emergency, no big whoop, just learning a new way. I had a VERY normal, actually light, Friday night, I think because I wasn't anticipating an S day like usual, and starting to get ahead of myself ...

finallyfull

Yes, happy anniversary! We just celebrated our 20th yesterday. :)

I wanted to chime in on people judging our food. As a healthy three meal a day eater at a healthy weight most of my life, I cannot tell you how many comments I received from people along the lines of "how can you eat so much and stay ...

finallyfull

@automated: I just noticed your previous question about whether this is an emotionally draining couple of years for me: I don't think so. I have had some harder times, but I have felt very loved and supported. I feel like I'm in a good place.

finallyfull

Hard to guess -- I would say it was a gradual thing that gained a foot hold about eight years ago after I went on my first diet, and I began to internalize the idea that snacking was important to stave off hunger. From there I think it just became habit. But it also meant smaller meals, so I felt ...

finallyfull

I want to remind myself of this: I've been thin most of my life with what I thought was little effort. The truth is, I mostly said "no" when I would have liked to say yes, out of habit. People used to say "why don't you have some, you can afford it" and I would think "the reason I can "afford it" is ...

finallyfull

I love your patience and your commitment to allow anxious or otherwise uncomfortable feelings to just be and wait for, as you put it, the hope of a "pearl." That is the kind of leap of faith that can make a difference between despair and growth. Once you allow anxiety or whatever to "be" and not ...

finallyfull

My grandmother didn't snack every weekend, all weekend, why should I?

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Okay here is my plan, after more than 18 month of No S as "research" on my individual tough spots:

No Snacking. EVER. Okay, okay, on real "S'es" that aren't just some regular weekend. I mean Christmas, New Years, and whenever there are legitimate hors d'oeuvres. So legitimate, they must actually be ...

finallyfull

Weight is up, clothes are tight, feel like I am always either hungry or really want to eat. ???? (Not the bite counting, that lasted one day before I got busy and couldn't focus on it -- I always feel like meals are in the way of my day, and yet how then can I eat MORE when I take LESS time?) Aha, I ...

finallyfull

So I am taking a risk and trying bite counting. Why? Because I've had a good, strong, solid year and a half on No S and while it has helped me realize I am at a healthy weight, and has provided peace and balance, I still sometimes wish my moderation were just a wee bit more moderate. My clothes are ...

finallyfull

Good news and bad news: my spring pants are a little tight! Darn!! My weight seems stable, but the pants don't lie. I HATE that feeling.

But the good news is this, thanks to No S: I know EXACTLY where that extra inch of flesh came from. In the past six months I dropped my comittment to black coffee ...

finallyfull

I think a big part of ending snacking, in addition to following the "rule", has been the change it caused: When I feel like snacking, I have trained my mind to think more deeply, automatically now. So instead of "boy I really want those fritos, I really feel like eating, am I hungry? What if I eat ...

finallyfull

I'm only 46 but I would say to my 40 year old self: "Hey, if you stay on No S, you won't gain the 15 pounds you are just about to gain, and keep!"

I would also say: enjoy the fact that your back doesn't hurt right now. Lift with the knees!

finallyfull

About a year and a quarter in now. Compliance still about 80%, weight seems stable.

I don't think I am imagining this -- I really have pretty much lost any urge for snacks and seconds. Truly. (Except at a couple minor trigger points). I used to eat snacks daily and seconds daily. It was a habit ...

finallyfull

Congrats! Looks like getting a bit of sun didn't hurt either.

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Thanks -- just hearing some viewpoints is helpful. I like that I have a "focus group" at the ready when I bump into a recurrent problem.

I think it probably boils down to me wanting to have the "unlimited" option, as if somehow having a limit makes it less Friday-ish or something. Very immature but ...

finallyfull

I like to think it was part of your "curriculum." So that two years from now you can tell everyone "oh yeah, I had a seven day binge at one point. But I didn't let it derail me."

Sometimes we have to have a tantrum to remind us of why we are doing this. I'm sure your seven days were a great visit ...

finallyfull

I'd recommend reading everything oolala has posted -- she is so inspirational. Our culture loves for us to be scared so we'll buy into all the crap. Let's fan the flames of peace and moderation.

Welcome back!! This board is very forgiving, and it takes as many times as it takes before we "get it ...

finallyfull

"Life is pain -- anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something" -- is that from you? That's awesome. I love it.

I might add that deliberately seeking out regular doses of discomfort can keep much of the pain away. (i.e. being a little hungry every day can stave off having the many pains that ...

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I thought I'd throw this out there for ideas, because for some reason, this seems to be an easy Red Day trigger for me. I am easily lured into gluttony when there is unlimited pizza available to me. I know there are practical tips (put two pieces on a plate and walk away, or don't order it (my ...

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The clothes will tell you all you need to know. I think you are wise. No S is a fantastic tool for showing us the "long view." You'll get to December of 2014 more peacefully if you work hard on the PROCESS not the end product.

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Thank you for being so generous with the detail! It's very reassuring and helpful. You and I have alot in common, although my spending and no screen have never been intertwined with Everyday Systems ideas... yet. We have come to many of the same conclusions, which I guess are the fruits of ...

finallyfull

@automated:

actually, you could save time by sitting at Reinhard's feet. He came up with it, I am just following it.

Imagine, discovering that moderation has been hiding in plain sight all these years!

finallyfull

I think respect for humans of all sizes would be nice, big or small, with no room for mean words.

Health is one thing, and we can talk about optimum health without encouraging people to hate themselves, whether they are overweight or "shriveled".

finallyfull

Haven't posted in a month because I'm thinking about food far less. That's a great thing because I'm (mostly) having green days, and so unlike previous "not thinking about food" times, I have rules. I've adopted rules because our culture doesn't have any.

I think I'm in the zone. I think I can ...

finallyfull

I agree with echano -- it's great to realize we are in charge and have choices, even if we choose to have the cookie.

I have had several "s events" in the past year because a child offered me something. I consider myself very lucky in this -- it's much bigger than food! But I don't always eat it. I ...

finallyfull

I find Fridays tricky too, even after a year. Not always, but often. I think of it as "the weekend." On the other hand, making dinner something fun like pizza usually takes care of it. I think maybe it could work to declare an optional "S event" for Fridays, so they aren't a total, go for broke, WTH ...

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@jw -- once or twice? I make the first "mistake" still. The second, amazingly, never! You are more evolved than I.

But No S definitely "works" for me -- it has showed me exactly why I am exactly this size. My three plates pretty much match my body. Moderate but pushing the edges of more than I need.

finallyfull

Great post!! Boy, you sound so much like me. The lesson is that when you are a healthy weight, you need to LEARN and ACCEPT your healthy weight! I'm in the 145-150 club (okay, maybe 150-155, not sure) but I'm 5 foot 8. No S has been a study in losing diet head, and slowly, very naturally, replacing ...

finallyfull

I think the lovely boredom that comes with no screens leads naturally to reading if you leave interesting books around and read yourself. I definitely checked good looking books out for them and left them around as bait. Or I'd pretend to read them myself and throw out an interesting tidbit to lure ...

finallyfull

"NoS mended my most important relationship -that with myself."

Great quotable!! I love it. It of course spills over into our relationship with others. If I don't like me, why would I expect anyone else to?

Thank you for keeping us posted on the journey -- I am also finding the non-physical aspects ...

finallyfull

up until the teen years I was very vigilant about screen time and when I was disciplined I found it led them to be far, far more active, creative, social and definitely more happy. Now that they are older, I enforce alot of "screen free" breaks and allow them to set the pace more. I can still see a ...

finallyfull

Reassuring to have a tame weekend again after what seems like a stretch of over the top. One difference is that I caught myself thinking an incorrect automatic thought that goes: "I will kick myself if I don't take advantage of this by having something..."

I replaced that with the truth, which is ...

finallyfull

I am right there with you -- calorie counting, for me, ruins No S and ruins my day. The whole point is to live moderately so I can get on with my life and not think about my body and food, and calorie counting wrecked that in the first hour!

Vanilla is accepting the peace of gratitude for what IS ...

finallyfull

Welcome back. I started and stopped multiple times. Now it's over a year.

Still learning every day, but never do I learn so much as I do from failures. Failures are awesome. But only if you get back up and USE the lessons.

Thanks for sharing the blog.

finallyfull

Actually felt sick after a red day -- decided I needed half a bag of carrotts in the afternoon, then did not preplate my pizza so I ate a bunch. I was really unhappy with myself because I was so sickly stuffed. This is NOT me!! I have not had this problem.

I think what's going on (besides a red day ...

finallyfull

Pumpkin Soup (might not sound good, but it is great):

1 can o'pumpkin
32 oz. chicken broth
1 T butter
2 T flour
one small onion
1/4 cup milk

Sautee the onion in the butter till soft, stir in the flour, add to broth. When heated, stir in pumpkin and milk.

(I change this sometimes to make it ...

finallyfull

Actually I find that eating very delicious things makes me want more. I do great on weekdays when I work and have three pre-planned tasty, healthy, but unexciting meals. It's when I go all out and cook something delicious that I struggle most.

I think more activity would really help alot. I ...

finallyfull

by the way, automated, because I seem to like "systems" -- my family hunkered down and worked our way out of debt a few years back -- except the mortgage. It was hard but great!! Still have to say "no" much more than I naturally would, just like No S, but I wouldn't trade the lessons, nor would I ...

finallyfull

I will.

I think you may be on to something with the "cold" -- when it's super wintery out I seem to have greater cravings for comfort, even if I'm inside and warm. I think I must be part bear -- I'd like to stuff myself all summer and fall and hibernate all winter in a big fuzzy fur coat ...

finallyfull

Two red days in a row -- wonder what's going on? I think the large number of holidays (2 non weekend esses two weeks in a row!) plus the Polar Vortex cabin fever maybe threw me out of orbit? Well at least it was NOT a WTH either time.

Sanity sanity sanity. I crave and love order. Must beef up my ...

finallyfull

Thanks! I look very forward to seeing what the new year brings now that I'm off of the "hedonic treadmill" (google it if you don't know it, it's a great metaphor for unreachable pleasure)

finallyfull

Green and N feels lovely. I can be such a pinball, bouncing around with new ideas.

After today's green N, I'm re-resolving to beef up my THREE weekend meals per S day in the hopes I can create some order. I can see that kindness, not deprivation or tricks, will help me steer in the right direction.

finallyfull

I've done it in the past, but not for a few years. Did it about a week and a half ago, after reading a persuasive essay about the need for accountability. True, scientifically, but it causes all kinds of other silliness in me which blot out what should be the benefits. (food focusing, mainly, and ...

finallyfull

I love soup!! It makes me feel all hugged and loved.

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Wow, I think I ate a year's worth of food in two S days! Not sure why, but I have a hunch it was my little trip into calorie-counting land. I have to take some time to reassure my brain that I'm not going to starve it again.

Aside from the food, here's what I lost in stuffing my face: pleasure ...

finallyfull

Yes -- I see what you mean about the fear of failure -- I now really embrace it. I had a two day romance with calorie counting about a week ago, quickly, very quickly, realized that not only did I want to eat more, I thought about food constantly, but I remembered past failures (losing 10 pounds and ...

finallyfull

On behalf of all parents THANK you for all your hard work, even though it seems much too hard on you. Teachers have it so hard, I could never do it. And with all the extra pressures you mention with testing, etc., it sounds like so much of the potential reward and fun is taken out of the profession ...

finallyfull

I think thinking about food begets thinking about food. When I am doing well, I quickly remember to "change the channel" -- and actually DOING something makes a huge difference. For instance, plunking my butt down to watch Love Actually for the third time this holiday season leads to lots of ...

finallyfull

It took exactly one weekend of calorie counting to show me that it's not for me. Thought about food and numbers wayyyyy too much, and way too little about nutrition, hunger, lack of hunger, and the other things I need when I think I'm hungry.

Truth is, I eat more than I need, and I know how to cut ...

finallyfull

Citizen's arrest from the thought police:

I noticed you said this of yourself, "I have many interests and talents, even though I am fat."

Would you ever say that about anyone else but yourself? Oh, yes, my best friend is so nice and interesting, even though she's fat." Ouch!! I think if we're ...

finallyfull

I hope that no matter how many red days, you will not quit this time! For all you know, you might have had another over the top month, followed by a slow tapering. But you don't get to find out what you are capable of because you don't see that "failure" is not a stop sign, it's tuition -- it's all ...

finallyfull

Well, at least I had ONE out of three green N days this week. Happy Holidays!

finallyfull

Mine were pretty good, in that they were as close to N days as I might get, I think. My strategy of eating three big meals worked for breakfast -- but lunch and dinner were more normal.

Went to a buffet (very unusual for me!) Saturday night and didn't eat all that much, but I did have two plates ...

finallyfull

Hi! Have a good couple of S days!

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Two younger sisters! All losses are hard, but that sounds truly devastating. My heart goes out to you.

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I think you made a good call on the marshmallows. That's one of those rare times where you would really be "on a diet" if you didn't eat them, given the season and the fact that they are only wonderful when fresh. Also you shared them -- very important!

finallyfull

procrasti-eating. haha.

I think you are wise to study the fault lines -- it can really make a difference.

finallyfull

Thanks guys. I am having alot of grief this holiday season since my dad died, so I had lots of crying today when I honestly first felt like snacking. So weird! But not really, when I consider that crying is very tiring and most inconvenient while eating is so easy. This is a big statement, but I ...

finallyfull

hard won green day yesterday. Glad I stuck to it. I felt really hungry, and it turned out I needed a big cry. Much healthier.

finallyfull

automated: I actually made the decision to eat freggies daily a few months after I began No S. I did it for my health, because I realized after looking at dense plate after dense plate that I was treating my body poorly. Prior to No S I could more easily "pretend" that I was getting those freggies ...

finallyfull

Okay okay -- no S rules for me!

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automated: I think the idea of rules may have been a factor, although I think two parties in a row followed by a trigger spot (big reading assignment) on Monday had more to do with it. I will lie down on a couch though, if you want to explore further!

I don't want to impose rules on weekends, I ...

finallyfull

I'm marking one year on No S -- I started sometime in mid December of 2012, after several on and off attempts previously.

Yay!

I am so glad I did this for many reasons, despite the fact that I think I weight about the same! I should note that I did not start this to lose weight. I am at a healthy ...

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Wosnes: I aim for the same. Aim being the key word! I just had a three day free for all. What the heck? Not sure. It almost felt like I went off a diet, but I'm not on a diet. I had two days of Christmas parties, and "appetizers" often throw me because they break up the rhythm. I'm just chalking it ...

finallyfull

Green week. I am starting to think that even though N days are a habit, I will always have an impulse to snack, just like I always will have an impulse to buy things I can't really afford, or stay in bed longer. I don't ask myself daily "when, oh, when will I wake up and actually FEEL like getting ...

finallyfull

I want to remember this: when I get very hungry and then eat a moderate meal, within the half hour to hour, I get a very pleasant general sense of well being.

I don't experience this otherwise, and hadn't noticed it before.

finallyfull

I have come to realize I now trust myself not to lie to myself on this. I think I used to lie. Now I know if I need to taste or if I'm just grazing.

finallyfull

Congrats on great numbers and a wonderful breakfast!

finallyfull

I'm in a nosy mood today -- sue me. But from reading your recent posts you sound like you might be exercising your knees too much too quickly and the rest of you is on a diet. Your knee is clearly begging for one lousy day of rest (do arm curls with a skillet, give the legs a break) and your body is ...

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Tell me more about this chocolate pudding with a "melting middle"!

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I'm sure you've noticed that the pendulum always swings up a bit sometimes -- it has to. It's the universe testing your resolve. Will you feel discouraged, or will you laugh, keep the faith, and keep going?

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Spending more time lately noticing the fact that I am in need of soothing, comfort, love, etc. for various reasons. Spending more time seeking out those things. 100% sure I would be far less in touch with that need without No S because the reason I notice is that I don't snack it away! My go-to ...

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That's a bummer -- colds are so intrusive, darn it. I hope it's a very mild one.

I wonder what the tiger in the cage wants? Love, I bet. Well, sending some love your way.

Have a nice Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for your inspiration and wisdom on these boards.

finallyfull

I was very hungry the other day and came to the realization that I am no longer even bothered by hunger! Yes, it makes me want to eat, but it used to trigger a thought that went something like "uh oh, I'm hungry! I need lots of food as soon as possible!" Now the thought goes: wow, I can't believe it ...

finallyfull

Congrats on your numbers, fluctuation and all! Slow and steady wins the race!

Everyday Systems

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No Seconds

Long Time believer back for support

friday pizza

one year!