Everyday Systems

I was going to go on a long explanation of things you can do to help, ideas, advice… And then I realized when I’m feeling like that I sometimes just want to be heard & understand. I very much know how you feel. I hope things start looking up later in the day, sometimes that happens for me.

Sinnie wrote: Mon Apr 20, 2026 4:08 pm I was going to go on a long explanation of things you can do to help, ideas, advice… And then I realized when I’m feeling like that I sometimes just want to be heard & understand. I very much know how you feel. I hope things start looking up later in the day, sometimes that happens for me.

Thank you, Sinnie. I'm sure you guys are all super tired of me complaining about my stress, haha. I know we're all stressed all the time and it never seems to let up. I know that's just life. But I'm so appreciative of y'all's support and encouragement.

Oh my goodness no, never. While I certainly do not want you to feel that way, it definitely validates my own feelings as o feel like this a lot. I’ve struggled a lot with mental health in recent years. I somewhat have it under control and was able to get off all meds, but I definitely feel there is something under the surface all the time and I’m trying hard to control my stress responses as I don’t want to live with constant cortisol shooting through me. It’s so tough, I know.

Sinnie wrote: Mon Apr 20, 2026 4:21 pm Oh my goodness no, never. While I certainly do not want you to feel that way, it definitely validates my own feelings as o feel like this a lot. I’ve struggled a lot with mental health in recent years. I somewhat have it under control and was able to get off all meds, but I definitely feel there is something under the surface all the time and I’m trying hard to control my stress responses as I don’t want to live with constant cortisol shooting through me. It’s so tough, I know.

I get it. I got covid last September, then after that, it's been NONSTOP stress with extended family issues, mental health episodes (for me), and then MORE family stress, then all the house stuff, and now the end of the semester. I feel like I've been under constant bombardment of cortisol since the end of September. I can't imagine what my body looks like internally right now. I've got to be perfectly pickled in cortisol. God knows what it's doing to me. I can't seem to come up for air and catch my breath. It's been a hard past year. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up on June 1 when spring semester is over, the house stuff is WAY farther along, and I'll have a chance to hopefully catch my breath.

Today was a total disaster food wise. I'm a fucking mess. I just want to go to sleep and wake up 30 days from now.

I am so sorry you are buried under so many stress filled things going on in your life... It has been such a tough year. It's natural, I think, when you are going through such a hard time, that you go for the tried-and-true things that relieve your stress, like bingeing. Don't beat yourself up too much for that! But at the same time, is there something less destructive that you could gently incorporate that would help you feel a little bit better the next 30 days?

Amy3010 wrote: Tue Apr 21, 2026 4:45 am I am so sorry you are buried under so many stress filled things going on in your life... It has been such a tough year. It's natural, I think, when you are going through such a hard time, that you go for the tried-and-true things that relieve your stress, like bingeing. Don't beat yourself up too much for that! But at the same time, is there something less destructive that you could gently incorporate that would help you feel a little bit better the next 30 days?

Thank you for your kindness. I'm trying to do things I know I enjoy and that's helping a little bit, but the urges are nearly unbearable. It's really tough to fight them. I know it's because this is deeply entrenched in my brain and that it's a horrible habit that it's going to take years to break. But that is so discouraging to think about. But I'm trying. I'm listening to podcasts about recovery and that's helping a little this morning.

Good for you for trying! And reaching for uplifting podcasts is definitely a great strategy!

Sometimes it helps me if I remind myself that my ingrained habit of eating to relieve stress is a coping strategy I developed when I needed it and it is only natural to automatically turn to it in hard times. Like you said, it is going to take years to modify it, but we are on the right path. Have compassion for yourself and be sure to give yourself credit for all you are doing!

Amy3010 wrote: Wed Apr 22, 2026 5:29 am Good for you for trying! And reaching for uplifting podcasts is definitely a great strategy!

Sometimes it helps me if I remind myself that my ingrained habit of eating to relieve stress is a coping strategy I developed when I needed it and it is only natural to automatically turn to it in hard times. Like you said, it is going to take years to modify it, but we are on the right path. Have compassion for yourself and be sure to give yourself credit for all you are doing!

Thank you for the encouragement. I'm trying for sure!

Red Day

W: 233

B: Atkins shake + 12 peanut butter crackers + 1 banana

L: 1/2 Burrito Barbacoa + 1/2 rice and beans + salsa + some chips + 2 reese's thins (hence the red)

D: chips and salsa + 1/2 a texmex sandwich + fries and ketchup

Thank you all SO much for your unceasing and kindly support over these past horrible weeks. I appreciate your friendship more than y'all know. I am going to be joining a 12 Step group moving forward and working exclusively with my therapist on my recovery. She feels like I've gone as far as I can with my dietitian. This is beyond the physical. This is beyond nourishment. This is a mental anguish that can only be addressed with a mental-focused program. I am getting back to my original food boundaries (as outlined below) and considering that my abstinence requirement. I am ready to nip this in the bud and I know that only a true spiritual, physical, and emotional/mental change will help me recover fully.

Original Food Boundaries:
- Follow No S
- Ses must be consumed with family or friends
- Fast food only with at least 1 other adult person
- Health plate must be eat when at home or eating from home
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8:04pm - I overate at dinner for sure. I need to get better at virtual plating at Mexican restaurants. I'm horrible at it!!! How do you guys do your virtual plating? I am so stuffed, I'm uncomfortable even hours later. >~<

I hope you can get back to your original food boundaries smoothly! They really sound fair and sustainable in the long run. Virtual plating is a challenge for me too! I did focus on the hungry scale lately, and it helps to be in the moment and actually rate your fullness.

Wishing you all the best with your new approach! You can do this, you have shown yourself to be disciplined and determined in so many areas of your life, keep chipping away at it!

I think your plan is spot on - it’s not just about nourishment. Great job on keeping going at this. You’ll get there 100%

Red Day

W: Didn't Weigh

B: Atkins shake + 6 peanut butter crackers

Off plan: dill pickle pringles + chocolate truffles

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L: gyro pita sandwich + lettuce + tomato + red onion + tzaziki + fries

D: lemon ricotta spinach sauce + whole wheat pasta with lemon wedges (homemade, trying out a new recipe) + cucumber + cherry tomatoes + ranch

Met with my therapist and discussed my eating disorder recovery. She has encouraged me to join many recovery groups, but use one as my primary, so that's what I'm currently working on. She also said I need to get back to my food boundaries and do everything I was doing when I was succeeding so well in February and most of March. So beginning with lunch, I'm 100% back on my food boundaries. I will also restart weighing my body daily tomorrow morning. I'm also going to get back to writing down my food here as I was doing when I was so successful.

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit, I've been trying to ease back into my Twelve Stepping and also getting my head screwed on straight about needing a food plan and quitting the pity party about it.

Also...IT'S OFFICIAL! We bought the new house and now own it. We had the closing yesterday and today all the renovation work began. Now I just have to finish packing and we will be able to move on May 16th. Our current house we're living in will sell on May 19th. The semester at work will be over on May 9th, so I'm slowly slowly getting through this extremely busy time. I'm super excited about summer at work since it's so slow and quiet. Thank you ALL for your support and encouragement about the house stuff. I know I've been whinging about it for ages.

Congratulations on the new home

Glad you seem to have your head around everything. I am sure you will start to see progress again.

Try to view this as a journey with backward steps, faltering steps, pauses and progress.


If you stick to your plan you will get there.

Jx

Thank you so much, Soprano!!!

N DAY

W: 232

B: Atkins shake + 12 peanut butter crackers

L: A little bit of the leftover pasta (not much) + dried apple chips + a couple sweet pickles + spicy pickled okra + sour cream and onion chips

D: country fried steak and scrambled eggs (half the portion) and grits with butter and a biscuit with jelly. My daughter and I had her favorite breakfast place for dinner.

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Hi Sammybunny,

It's been a while since I last checked in, and I was SO hoping to see that your stress had improved since the last update of yours I read. I'm really sorry to learn that—if anything—your stress level seems to have worsened. Please disregard ANY AND ALL of the following if it isn't helpful or welcome (you certainly have enough to think about right now and unsolicited advice can be really irritating ). But I'm a little worried about you....

Is there ANYTHING that can be done to decrease your stressors at their sources? Stress is an absolute nightmare and it sounds like you are just dealing with far too much of it. And that it's coming at you from all directions.

Can you disentangle yourself from any stressors related to extended family (even if it feels lousy to do so)? Is there ANYTHING that can be put off or put to the side with your new house until you're better equipped to handle it (even if you'd rather not and/or it would be less convenient to do so)?

Is there anything you could set aside for a while (or do less well) so that you can take care of yourself first?

I fully recognize that these might not be viable options. However, I believe that every one of us has an ABSOLUTE limit beyond which we can't function. And it sounds like you are bumping up against—or skyrocketing past—that limit. Drastic stress may require drastic measures.

No matter what, please know that I am thinking of you and REALLY hoping you can get past this super-stressful time. Please take every opportunity you can to lessen any pressure possible, treat yourself kindly, and know that we're here for you.

Sending you all the best wishes, WINhappy

WIN, thank you SO much for your kind and supportive message. Honestly, even though stress hasn't decreased, I'm doing much better this week. Thankfully, I didn't have ANY events at work this week due to one being moved to next week (this now makes next week much more stressful). But not having any events this week has been a GIFT. I have only been doing what is absolutely essential at work and leaving all the rest to be done until the semester is over on 5/9. Being able to really decrease work stress this week has been very very helpful.

Honestly, now that we've closed on our new house, that feels like a BIG stressor off my plate, even though all the contractor/painting/electrical work is going on right now as we speak. I'm going over to the new house daily and checking on things and also being VERY on top of the workers to make sure things are being done right. For whatever reason, I'm more in control of my emotions this week. Sometimes, the stress just hits different and this week I just feel on top of things and more capable of handling everything. But Sunday this past weekend was REALLY tough. I was highly HIGHLY agitated (I have bipolar disorder and agitation can happen when I'm in an elevated mood). But by Tuesday, I felt much better and more calm.

My plate is going to get LOTS lighter once the semester is over on 5/9. I still work in the summer, but summer is very slow and quiet in my job, so I'm looking forward to that. And once we physically move and sell our current home, that will ALSO lift a lot of stress.

Right now, it feels like I'm slowly walking down Stress Steps. Every step I can take lower, the stress gets lower. So I think I'm thankfully going to survive and your concern for me is very kind. I'm alright. Really. Doing much better right now, so I'm trying to take advantage of it.

N DAY

W: 232.8

B: Atkins shake + 12 peanut butter crackers

L: Pizzza rolls (pepperoni) + some sour cream and onion pringles (my whole goal today is to eat my 3 meals. I will not cut out anything right now. I'm dealing with enough stress. Also there are donuts sitting in my office at work and I'm just doing my level best to ignore them). Thankfully I can't physically see them from where I'm sitting.)

D: egg fried rice and a bowl of Tom yum shrimp soup

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Starting the day off really tired and on edge. We found more damage in the detached garage at the new house yesterday, so that's more to fix, sadly. But it's okay. We knew there would be things popping up as surprises as they got into there and dealt with things. I am so ready SO ready for all of this work to be done, but it's a marathon and it certainly won't be over anytime soon. I also spent 2 hours trying to change my address with a goverment agency last night all for it to not work and then to find out I didn't need to change my address with them anyway. MADDENING. I am so so so so ready to get through May. If I can just make it to June 1, I think I will be okay.

NWS Day

*Beltane* & the Flower Moon

B: Atkins shake + 6 peanut butter crackers + a few chips + raisins

L: Atkins shake + leftover egg fried rice + 6 peanut butter crackers + chips + dried apples + sugar free jello pudding (VERY odd lunch, but it filled me up and I moved on)

D: spicy chicken sandwich + fries + ketchup

S: donut, 2 salted caramels, some toffee covered almonds

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Happy Beltane and Flower Moon if anyone celebrates such things (like me, haha). I hope that you are all having a good day. This holiday brings me a lot of joy and has me really trying to noodle through what my passions in life are right now and how I can enjoy them and grow them. It's nice to be thinking of things other than food.

You eat like me! . Just random things that I'm in the mood for sometimes. Haha. And I'm not giving up anything yet, either. Not snacking and no sweets is about to kill me. Sounds like you have a lot going on looking at the last post. Enjoy your holidays! I have heard of Beltane but not flower moon.

MaggieMae wrote: Fri May 01, 2026 10:28 pm You eat like me! . Just random things that I'm in the mood for sometimes. Haha. And I'm not giving up anything yet, either. Not snacking and no sweets is about to kill me. Sounds like you have a lot going on looking at the last post. Enjoy your holidays! I have heard of Beltane but not flower moon.

Haha I can eat really random meals even when they're healthy! And the Flower Moon is the name of the first May Full Moon, but it has other names too like the Milk Moon.

Just catching up here and want to wish you congratulations on the new house! Hopefully as things get settled, your stress will subside. Hang in there!

Aww thanks, friend. House stuff is intense with all the renovations (and the things that are being uncovered as they work), but I'm getting through it. I'm also dealing with all the work stress as this is graduation week and my 3 events be eventing. But I'm getting through.

My biggest challenge right now is trying to unhook my recovery and health journey from trying to get skinny again. It's hard. I WANT so badly to lose weight down to a healthy BMI, but due to my crazy screwed up brain with food and weight and body image, I know recovery will mean not focusing on weight, but purely focusing on recovery and health. Hopefully that will mean significant weight loss slowly over time but who knows?